I now have a new crush but I keep trying to tell myself to forget about it. I keep forgetting that I am normal now. I can finally fuck right and keep a boyfriend.
Secretly though, I have never really dated a man like everyone else has.
For the first time in my life, I can truly Date. I don't have to mind fuck, to stay alive. I feel bad about the ones I have hurt in my past. If only they could understand what it is like for a attractive girl who could not fuck without being in pain is.
That life was really hard. I saw many dreams and people I loved walk out of my life. I would look in the mirror and see the ugliest person in the world in it. I would scream at God
"Why would you make other people find me attractive, when I don't see any beauty in this person. I can't fully please a man or keep a soul I love in my life, why?"
The lessons life teaches us are not easy sometimes.
I learned many things from this but one thing I learned is when you can't fuck, life says - fuck you.
I would though, stay with my love though even if he could not fuck. I know other ways to get off. I can travel outside my body and fly threw space and have sex in the stars. Not many people know how to do that.
I can also give really good blow jobs because I love sucking cock. I also love fucking it to the beat that feels right at the time. I can feel your heart beat, throb threw your veins. I can feel the tremble right before you cum and I can push it harder & make you squirt if I wanted.
I love sex with men & women and the more people involved the better! I love the energy that is created by such a pleasure force. Sex in the air, is the air I like to breath. Naked hiking up a mountain and at the top of the world we make love.
All I have to say now is Thank you God for giving me the Light *
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