Fuck Webs

Jaded,

I never though I would ever get this Jaded. The idea of dating or bonding to someone turns me off. Its hard watching everyone around me fall into the love web. I just hope the spiders they attractive does more then just eat them. 

I hope they wrap them up and love them the way they should be loved. I honestly think this is why I will always be alone. I love people and I care about people, who could give two shits about me. 

I still care about them because that is the kind of person I am. You could try to rip the love out of my soul but I don't think you could. I would die before I would give into hate again. 

Pathetic Right? Kinda. I like nice guys though. If I where to date again, I would be more attracted to a beautiful caring person vs. someone who looks like @EricSwiss. Even though, my sex life would be way better with a attractive stud, I would still rather fuck a heart. Is there a attractive stud out there with a heart? Who knows, but right now - I am not looking for one. 

I am watching other people get pulled into the love web. I wish, I could control the spider webs. I watch them grow and tangle in together, to lure the pray in. Once you get stuck in the web, it is almost impossible to get out of it. Some people make it out, but most become bitten by the spiders.

Once your bitten by the love spider it is a bite that lasts a long time. I have been bitten by many spiders in my life and now the spider bites don't even hurt. Now when I feel pain I laugh like a crazy person. 

I guess that means I am a crazy person, but now pain feels different to me then it use to. Pain barely even registers in my brain now. I can't wait to test out my new tolerance when I find myself in a Dungeon. 

I miss being suspended in the air. Bound by the ropes and becoming one with them. Is the best feeling ever. Swaying to the beat of life and feeling weightless. This feeling is something I find my soul driving it's self into on a daily bases. On or off camera, I dabble in this world a lot. 

I keep watching this young soul fall head over heels over these guys. A part of me, wishes I could take my wings and wrap them around her soul. Protect her from all the evil spiders that just want to poison her soul. Deep down, I know she has to learn these lessons her own, as I did. I give her as much support & advice as I can. I don't look forward to the day when tears are running down her face because some evil spider fucked her day up. I will be there though and I will cry with her because I know how much it sucks to be bitten by the heartless. I have been bitten so many times, that now when they try to bite me, I don't let them. 

Now I just FUCK, the fucking spiders. I don't fall for their love web anymore. 

I love fucking. It is the best feeling in the world. It feels so good to connect to someones rhythm. I call it Sex Beats and it is my favorite music to listen to. I listen to these songs called exstasy in my mind when I fuck.