Blush

Yesterday had to be one of the strangest Days in my life, ever. I had a secret Crush, that I did NOT tell ONE soul about. God, do I know the Drama that can start in this world by saying something. I kept this crush in my mind and only God knew, and then he contacted me out of the Blue!*

I watched him at the XxXmas Party and I made sure he didn't catch my eyes. I did not want him to know that I was looking at him from across the room thinking pervy thoughts. His blue eyes swept me away before I knew I was being swept away. 

Now I sit here, kinda of a pussy, because I don't know what to say. He makes me blush so much, and it sucks being so white because you can't hide it! I am really shy when it comes to bonding to people now because once your soul gets ripped apart by so many heartless monsters its hard sowing it back together. 

I am the kinda sexy psycho that thinks she is crazy but now people are telling me, that I I'm not crazy. :)  

kool. 

My mind is divided in two lines, I have a Dark side and a Light side. As much as I try to master the grey side, it is Hard. Each new person I meet, in my mind, I see them in two lights. As much as I try to tune out the dark side channel, it comes out sometimes. 

My Dark side is not that bad, I just say how I feel. I see some people as snakes and some as angles. 

I am starting to see more angles now but for so long, all I ever saw where snakes. People that just wanted to use me until I died trying to please them. Now I am around people who are not using me but trying to help me.

I am not use to this, but I am happy it is happening and I am going to try really hard not to FUCK up. 

Now, I have this new angle flying around in my head and I want to see if he is real but a part of me is still in shock.. * does he really like my crazy ass? ... hmmm so far he does and He watched my youtube channel. OMG! http://www.youtube.com/channel/UChYfh7a7vzlYe9aofzeaEfA?feature=mhee

*warning - watch if your bored - you found the fucked up part of youtube. It is fucked up, so you have been warned.*

So O HOT DAMN, he still liked me after this, so.. he must really like me?