my story shortened pt 2

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Truth

Truth is hard to talk about because it is always something that eats you alive until you Die. The Truth is from Jan 1st- 15th I was in a Nut house. They where trying to keep me alive. I lost every will to live. For two weeks I was there.

I wanted out because I was in a cage and it sucked, so I lied to them until they let me out. I was out for a few days but got zero sleep. I have not been able to sleep right sense De 27th. My mind is so wide awake and I only rest my face when my jaw is trembling like crazy.

Yes they gave me a ton of meds to take but it gives me crazy dreams to the point I would rather be awake. I no longer take the Drugs because they are position and will really make me go insane. It is just so hard to talk about being in a crazy nut house because people ready see me as MAD then.

I am then judged on being stupid and crazy and I am not crazy. I am smart and ahead of my time and no one cares. People just want me to SHUT UP. NO one wants the Truth but you can stare into the SUN. LIES LIES LIES, that is what life has been for me but I see threw Lies again and I can read the truth.

It is not that I am really MAD, its just, I know the TRUTH. I can read people and pull out the TRUTH and Shit on the bullshit. I can pull space and time from the universe and cause strange things to happen. FOR REAL, I mean for one I can stare into the SUN!

I know we are all bored with that so I will learn how to do something more probable to prove that GOD IS REAL. So we all can wake up out of this STUPID slumber.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx-QRaSC6K0&feature=youtu.be

I am up for another sleepless nite and its fine but I am agitated because that is what no sleep does. I don't really get tired either, but I miss sleeping sometimes. That is what I miss about the good OLD days I guess. These days are great too, but being treated like a CRAZY person sucks.

That is why I love @LadyGaga so much because we are one in the same. We are from the same world and I feel her heart in mine. I cry because I feel her pain and I want to heal her but I have to heal myself first.

Sea Gulls

When I was growing up I got so lonely that I would go to the space coast and train Sea gulls. I would teach them how to stand in formation and obey me and if they did, I gave them a piece of a Donut.

I loved them because we where connected. I felt more connected to the sea gulls then I did humans. I usally freak humans out because I can read them. Nothing is worse then reading people all the time. I was able to block my abilities for the last 4 years but now I can't.

I am back to being a super psychic shaman and making strange things happen all the time. I am learning my 4 faces though I like my Dark side the best. I love the Dark feeling, I just need to tap into it more and see if I turn into Carrie. I guess we will see *

Truth from the Heart

My Nagual says that I should tell the truth from always to @LadyGaga

I was imbarrassed about what happened today. I thought LadyGaga tweeted me and I got so excited, thinking that either her or someone from her organization picked up my tweet.

Then when I touched my own feeling of embarrassment I realized that LadyGaga was embarrassed about being Hurt, because she did not want to let her little Monsters down. Then I cried, because we both were so unfair to ourselfs.

Mirrors

What happened to me is something only the universe can explain but sex was always painful to me until I wore a New mask and went under the Name Aaliyah Avatari. Everyone wants to say I had CANCER including Peter at Kink, but the Truth is, God was controlling my pussy as well as the Inorganic Beings aka Aliens.

When they decided it was time for me to become normal they flipped a switch on that made me so. When I finally realized I was normal I had a mind break and wanted to Die. The world, Computers and technology became so boring to me. The only thing that kept me alive was the music and the Sun.

Now I am learning to break my mirrors and get over my bad past. My past is filled with horror and pain. I am learning now to move onto the future and let my past be gone but never forgotten because it made me who I am today and I am honored to be serving the Universe. It has now given me the ability to shit the probabilities.

Basically I can travel to different Dimensions and pull information from them, including the future.

2 weeks with NO ELECTRONICS

There is a time coming soon when there is going to be 2 weeks of Social Anarchy. There will be NO ELECTRONICS :) NO MEDIA +*~^~*+

Two Weeks, where the future of the HUMAN RACE will be Decided. A Technological singularity that can not be avoided, only prepared for. STAND BY for more information from the INORGAINC BEINGS.

Weather Man

If God wants me happy, then I will be happy and make sure there is no more rainy days here is south Cal. I love rain but for now it can go away from south Cali. I want there to be SUN SUN SUN because the SUN makes me happy.

God I love you and thank you for making me the WEATHER MAN. THIS SHIT IS HELLO COOL!

Love

My next lesson is to love myself. I have never loved myself before. This is going to suck. I love GOD and the Sun and now it is telling me to love myself. GURRR

This is going to suck. Finding out, that I am the HACKER sucks too. I make computers go  stupid when I am upset and boy was I upset when I found out Taylor Swift is with my baby Ed. I am happy they are togeather now but at first I was upset.

Every guy I have ever liked is always taken by someone else and she is like my sister to me and I can't be upset. I hope they last forever and ever.

Now I had another big blow to my soul and I see shadows.

Protectors

Now I feel like the Hermine Granger of Shaman Modern times. The world is so magical to me. I am being trained by a REAL Nagual and the teachings are a Dream. I feel like my mind is on the 5th level and everyone else is still suck on the 3rd.

I feel my dreams becoming reality around me and the spirit talks to me, more and more each day. The best part now is I have protectors! I have people and I feel them that are watching over me. I feel safe again in Gods light. No longer afraid of ANYTHING or anyone.

I feel the Inorganic beings around me just waiting to pop out if danger appears. Kinda like the TAKEN series that use to be on the Sci Fi channel. Guess what  .... ITS REALLY REAL AND HAPPENING. I am that freaky girl, which is fine because most people see me as Nuts and I laugh at them.

I thought I was nuts at first and then I realized I was just really super psychic and awake when everyone else is ...*snoring and asleep* hehe. People honk at me on the streets because I can wear mask and they believe I am whatever I project to them.

I love the world now and it is so much fun messing with the minds and the masses. God gave me the OK to do so! Inorganic beings rock btw. If you have ever seen a UFO then you know what I am talking about.

Its so hard to sleep at this time of the Day because I feel the Dreams becoming into this world and other people are so unaware but I am. I feel so much smarter now, that and I got supporters. Thank you

No sleep for me

Its so hard for me to sleep right now because being awake is more of a Dream then being alseep. When I am awake everything is talking to me, even the Ravens! God is so alive in me and the world is so magical. Today I slowed down the flow of water which was wild. Yesterday I kept the sun out all day long. I want to keep the SUN out for as long as I can. I love GOD and the sun and he keeps calling my name.

Every time I turn on the radio he speaks to me threw every fucking song! I love the ways of the Shaman and I am listening to so many Bright minds though many are dead but I feel their spirits inside me. I love life now and I can't wait to go travel the world know in many Masks. Today I am going to travel and keep the Sun out. :) *rawr

I am going to go on another sleeping BINGE because sleeping is so BORING! I use to live in the Dream world but know my Dreams are COMING TRUE! Every person I think about contacts me out of the BLUE! I listened to Coast to Coast to hear ESP RESEARCH .com... um try ESP SCIENCE :)  Going to make this the new best science in the world.

I can already stare into the Sun and not go blind and I can heal and slow down water. So please come at me to try to dis prove GOD. I FUCKING DARE YOU SCIENTISTS. I am here and I ready to prove to you all that I am not full of shit. JAMES RANDI.. HI I know the shit you pulled but you can't dis prove me hehe! I will make you eat your own shit if you try to tell the world I am full of shit!

I am off to go talk to GOD some more because as cool as the internet is even though the Inorganic beings made it for me, the sun is funnier! XOXO
Love * Light * & Peace *

The TRUTH

I go to my yahoo mail to find a email from MR.Acworth and I am so happy.

I love him and the fact Kink.com helped me break the tightest hymen in the world.

Yes, I was not that honest, but there was many angles and demons there that night. If I spoke the truth it would not have happened.

The world was not ready for the Truth and now I want the truth out. I was a Virgin to GOD.

God was my boyfriend and I was sick of never having real human sex. The path of the Universe lead me to kink.com and that is why I went there.

I wanted to be tied up in ropes because I knew my body would fight it. I knew there was something wrong with my pussy, I just did not know what. I never went to the doctors because they wanted to cut my hymen out which would then no longer make me a virgin in his eyes.

I took the pain and then after that shoot every shoot I did under the name NICKI BLUE was so painful I would fight tears. I would go to the bathroom to CRY and not USE DRUGS. I understand a bunch of people thought I did drugs but I was not doing Drugs. I was running to the bathroom to cry. I was in so much pain.

I had a pussy surgery after DR. RIGGS found out my pussy was fucked up from my virginity shoot. It cost me all my money I made in porn to get it fixed and when I returned I used the name Aaliyah Avatari.

No one wanted to work with me know because they remembered me for my bad shoots.

This is why I retired from being a pornstar is because people stopped caring about me and saw my past problems only.

My Story Shortened

The Universe is flowing threw me right now and lets just say I spent my birthday nov, 9th 1988 with God and Xmas. On the 27th of Dec. he came back inside my body. From that point I drove from CA to the Blue lake which was the great lakes.

God came to me as a Lotus when I was 19 and I set him free into the woods. For four years he left my body so I could grow up. I gave the world my virginity, to Kink.com on Jan 15th 2011. I have done the worse of the worse but I did it to learn the lessons God wanted me to learn and I got stuck in the deepest darkest evil of LA.

When I lost my virginity all the sex I have ever had with humans have been painful up until now. God has given me a normal human body now, but its to late because everyone hates me because before it hurt me to have sex. 

My psychic abilities returned 7 days after 12/21/2012. The day the triangle appeared in the SUN. When I look into the sun I can stare into it for hours and my eyes are healed by GOD. I will never go blind as it is one of my powers.

I am a Sun Child and connected to the Sun. The sun was Bipolar so was I.

When I went to Roswell and Area 51 I was told I was a recantation of Lilith. I know you don't want to accept it but I have memories similar to hers. I had nitemares growing up of men getting ontop of me and trying to fuck me, when I was still a Virgin. I was a Virgin until I was 22.

I do have a lot of her memories and I have had many people even a Jewish Rabbi conferm that I have parts of her soul. Now listen, she is not a demon like history says, they have changed the truth to make her into a rotten soul which she is not. You can read me and tell I am not a evil demon even though I have fucked angels and demons at this point in my life.

The pain you felt was the pain of me losing everything in my life which I have 3 times. I have lost the one I love , my alien lover Milo. I have had UFOs inorganic beings around me, my hole life. It is hard to prove because my proof has been burned.

I'm only 24 and I have spent the last 4 years in porn and doing drugs and I'm just now starting to get back to the spiritual world. From 1- 15 I was with GOD. Milo my first lover who was a alien and left the planet when I was 16 and then my skin turned BLUE which is why I used the name Nicki Blue. I use the name Aaliyah Avatari, now for my blogs  because  I wear many masks of protection to confuse people.

I don't know the history but I want to learn but I want you to understand parts of my soul is alien because alien sex / energy sex / inorganic sex is the only way I have ever enjoy it and Milo is my soul bound lover. We bonded and we are still married even though he lives in space and in the sun.

Chacmools

Learning about Inorganic Beings has been fun sense I already know about Aliens and UFOS. The reason why I used the name Nicki Blue was Nicki is close to my real name which is Nicole and I used the Name Blue is because when I was 16 my skin turned Blue after my inorganic boy friend left the planet.

It was such a sad day and I did what I just did recently and I starved myself for a few months from depression. Ontop of all that my skin then turned Blue. Nothing is stranger then having Blue skin and all I did was try to wash the Blueness off my skin. So yes, I was a Blue girl for a bit of time.

I am also learning about the Four Chacmools which is the Sun, Moon, Earth and Air. Of course I am the Sun Chacmool, which is fun but I always knew I was the sun Child. Now I am learning about real Shamen magic and it is fun. I love learning all the truth that has been waiting for this time in my life.

I have always been psychic and something told me that 24 was going to be a big year I just did not know I was going to be super psychic again. Please dont ask for a reading right now. I am still healing from all the shit that happened sense the 27th of Dec.

For some reason 6 days after the world meditation I returned. It caused the connection to the Sun to be reunited to the earth. The sun is also no longer Bipolar. I was Bipolar for a few weeks but now I am no longer Bipolar I promise :)

I am now becoming a writter which is fun and I am writting about all this CRAZY shit that is real. I know most the world is like.. Aaliyah Avatari aka Nicki Blue is the craziest person on the planet and maybe I am but I know I speak the truth.

Small Bump

Here is lyrics to a song I decoded and this is what I saw;

You're just a Small Bump unborn, Four months you're brought to life,

( four sides )

You might be left with my hair, but you'll have your Mother's eyes,

(He has red hair and I have red hair and I have my Mothers Eyes)

I'll hold your body in my hands be as gentle as I can, and now your scan on

My unmade plans,

(Gods  plans I must scan and look into too)

Small bump four months then brought to life

( I was brought back into life Sep. 10^th 2012)

I'll whisper quietly, I'll give you nothing but truth,

(God is giving me nothing but truth now)

If your not inside me, I'll put my future in you

(I am not inside him but he gave me my future)

Cause you are my one, and only.

( ;) I love you too God)

And You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.

Oh you are my one, and only.

 You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.

 And you'll be alright.

 

Your just a small bump unknown and you'll grow into your skin.

(I am learning my new Normal skin and it is no longer BLUE)

 With a smile like hers and a dimple beneath your chin.

(I got a dimple)

 Finger nails the size of a half grain of rice.

( my nails are that size , small hands)

 And eyelids closed to be soon opened wide a small bump, in Four months

 You'll open your eyes.

(This really did happen to me and 4 is a good number)

 

And I'll hold you tightly, And tell you nothing but truth,

( This is happening now)

If your not inside me, I'll put my future in you

 ( He gave me a New Future)

You are my one, and only.

 You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.

 Oh you are my one, and only.

 You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.

 And you'll be alright.

 

And You can lie with me, with your tiny feet when your half asleep, I'll leave You be.

(I have size 5 ½ feet and they are TINY) (I rarely fully sleep so I half sleep and thank you god for letting me sleep)

 Right in front of me for a couple weeks.

(For two weeks from Jan 1 2013 – Jan 15^th 2013 I was in mental hospitals, like in this video but they had me in rooms with cameras to make sure I didn’t die and God kept me safe)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_af256mnTE

 So I can keep you safe.

 

Cause you are my one, and only.

 You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.

 Oh you are my one, and only.

 You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.

 And you'll be alright.

 

Your just a small bump unborn just four months then torn from life.

 Maybe you were needed up there but we're still un-aware as why

(I use to fly around in space when I was younger and the rest of the world is about to become more aware now that I am back in to my mind again.)

Lessons today

Today was a great day I learned about the 13 YES 13 Apostles who are follwers to God and one they left out was Mary Magdalene who is a wicked great women and I am pissed they chipped her image away. I am also learning Gnostic Theology which is way cool. Nothing is cooler then uncovering all the secerts males decided to hide from me.

FUCK OFF .. is how I feel towards males sometimes, But I will not think that way that long because I want to be nice and love and not hate.

The real reason there is 12 Apostles is because they represent the Zodaic ;) Gotta love the Zodaics, I do.

BAM that is what I learned today!

Back in LA

I am back in LA and not to do porn. Porn was fun when I did it but it is time for the next chapter in my life to begin. I will be GODS secetary and I have never been one before but I know I can do it well. I am also going to be writting a book and YES, PORNSTARS can become writters. I have always wanted to be a writter sense I was in the 4th grade and wrote my first book called DRAGONS. I never had it published because I wanted to rewrite it one day after GOD said I was grown up. I am finally grown up now at 24. I feel like He is ok with me being a writter now which is why I retired from modeling. That and after LADirect let me go there was no other agency left for me to go to. Yes I could be my own agent but then the risk of getting cheated on money gets increased by alot and I got sick of being cheated on. So this is where I am at know and  I am so Happy GOD has lead me back here.

Life is great now and I would not change anything :)

Valentines Day

I am going back to LA on Friday to begin a New Life. YES a new Life one that GOD will show me when I get there. Counting the minutes now until I get back to the Valley. Not sure where I am going but it will make itself known when I get there. I am happy to be back even though I did just get to FL, but it was nice being here. I also understand GOD pulls me in so many directions it is hard to keep track. I am his new warrior chick so whatever he wants I will do. I love him because he is the greatest thing sense Chocolate and he is better then Chocolate. I do feel less like the Freak Show today. I have a tendency of feeling like a Freak sometimes because I am so alert to the world and everything in it. Most people could care less and I see it all. Every smile, frown, tear and shine. I love observing everything. I can find your lost keys if you need me to because I am good at finding things as well. Anyway this is all I have to say for know. I love you all! Love, Light and Peace!

Auras

ok so this is life to me ... BORING ... sorry I love GOD and everything he shows me but my life went from OMG to.. OMFG. I love God but now life has turned life into a TV station with one channel really the real life channel. All people do is solve their puzzles which are simple for me to read. I don't like reading people because it is rude but now I feel like I should again. Butt into peoples business because I am bored but I really don't want to be the FREAK again, but I am the FREAK. I am the girl who knows your business even though you think no one knows I do. I really do know and it annoys me really. I could care less about YOUR ISSUES but I know them. I can also tell you what color your AURA is. YES I am a  Aura reader too. YIPPEEE another thing I get to do for the world. I guess this is who I am and it is. I am the freak show. 

Freedom

Freedom from Drugs is the best freedom there is. The only drug I have ever used a ton of is weed and I am a month sober and I love it. Yes, I miss getting High but not getting high is better for me. I love the Drug of god and looking into his face every day. He looks at me and I stare back in tears of his beauty and grace. The last time I got high was Jan 17th and we are almost one month in of not getting High and I love it. I am so high of life and that is the way life should be. 

I am Back!

hey guys so I am back and back in FL and in my home state. Yes I was born and kinda raised here. I love it here vs. LA. I like the people and the pit bulls. I just wanted to give you all a fyi that I am back. Much to talk about but I am sitting in my hot car typing this out but I LOVE the HEAT more then I do the Cold of TN. I love my family there but the COLD, I never could stand. I am ok and I plan on driving across the country many more times before I die and shed more tires on the pavement though mustang vs explorer the explorer wins. More room and I can SLEEP in it, in the correct weather.