Girl who cried Wolf

I'm attempting the impossible. Repairing all the sexual experiences, I fucked up in my past.The kinky longing & desire to fuck keeps eating away at my mind. I have decided to see, if I could repair them. When your first sexual experience with them is bad, they judge you as a bad fuck. The worse of it is though, knowing they don't want to fuck you.

For a nympho that is truly Hell.

I am the Girl who cried wolf. I was a mental nympho before & loved sex in my mind, but when I had sex it hurt. It felt like a million knifes, cutting away at my insides. I still wanted to please, all these attractive souls, so I learned to take the pain. The reason why I cried all the time, was because that was the level of pain I was in. As hard as I tried not to cry, I couldn't help it. Penetration hurt.

Now, you won't be able to make me cry. No psychical pain can compare to what I felt before.

Now I'm cured of cancer and I'm a new soul. I can fuck now and it does not hurt at all. I love it deep, rough and Wild like the animal I am inside. I do hope, one day you all will get to witness it.

When I lost my virginity on camera & I had no idea I had cervical cancer. It was no ones fault but my own. I wish I knew I had it, but I thought my pussy was just really tight. Every scene I did under Nicki Blue, I was getting ripped apart inside.I'm still upset in myself for giving you all a bad performances.

The reason I cried so much, was because I was in so much pain words can't even describe. I thought sex was meant to be painful. Every time I fucked, after I loss my virginity, I was being ripped apart inside. I honestly thought, I had a never ending period, and that is why I bled all the time. I just started birth control for the first time and the doc. said bleeding like that was normal.

I expressed my pussy pain, but no one believed me. I decided to suck it up and keep on going. In my mind I loved sex and even though it hurt, in my mind I still loved it.

God blessed me with the knowledge of pain & pleasure.

In my mind I have always been a Nymphomaniac. Up until now, I could only go half way. Now I can go all the way and my life has changed for the better. I'm aware I can't heal everyone I hurt, but I will try.

When guys saw me, they could sense the sexual force that surrounded my soul. When it came to sex though, I shattered it. I was under so much stress because of this. I was a different person then. I was hurting myself and trying my hardest to mentally beat the pain.

Pain can really change you as a person, even though I tried hard not to let it. I am truly sorry to everyone who I acted ill on. I was just trying to deal with the pain and be happy at the same time.

I am not Super Girl and even though I tried, I could not overcome the pain. I went to Dr. Riggs who saved my life. He sent me into surgery and now my pussy is fixed. A little to late though, because I have already burned all the bridges I was walking on.

I just hope that you all can understand and forgive me one day. People do change, and I have changed. I am not a porn princess anymore. I don't even consider myself a pornstar, because I was not fucking before.

I miss the collar, though I'm aware I don't deserve it.

I wanted to let you all know the truth, as hard as it is for me to admit. I am aware some won't want to fuck me now that they know I had cervical cancer. I am Ok with that.

It was hard for me to come out with it because of this reason. I hate turning off people but sense I already did that with my fucked up pussy, I will do it again with the truth.

That is why I cried so many tears before. I wanted to be that girl wearing the collar but I could sense I was not pleasing enough. I left knowing that doom was around the corner and the thought of being released killed me inside.

The thought of losing the collar for being a bad slave made my soul sick. I knew it was coming, so I left. I did it the wrong way. I should of taken the punishment. I'm truly sorry for that.

Kink may not ever have me back because of the drama I caused. I'm not drama anymore, but I'm aware there is a million girls ahead of me, and they deserve the same chance I had and fucked up. Time will tell and I'm not giving up!

I miss you all

xoxo