Being a sick nympho is no fun at all. All I want to do is fuck, but that is hard to do with your blatter feels like a fire ball ready to pop inside your gut.
I still try regardless. Fucking to much is what got me sick in the first place. Not having enough rest and fucking all the time, can wear down your immunity to things. That & I don't have the Irish luck genes and I tend to catch things.
I have realized how hard life would be without a phone, but now without transportation it is another story! More things have gotten on my list before getting my phone turned on. A bike so I can travel faster distance in a faster amount of time.
Right now I have to walk everywhere and when you live in the suburbs, you can imagine how much fun that is. I'm debating on getting a skate board or a bike. Both have wheels and increases your speed by a lot. I think a skateboard is cheaper, so that is what I will get most likely. I can't wait to skate board again, I just hope I can master it fast on these LA streets.
I have realized out of every person in the world that does not deserve a phone, that person is me. I understand why God has placed me in this journey in life and that is to learn that you really don't need any material items to be happy.
I am still happy even though I don't have anything. No friends to hang out with because when you don't have a phone there is no way you ever get invited to anything. No one ever calls me because I don't exist anymore.
I no longer have a car because I could not afford the registration. Now, I am stuck to walking everywhere and 5 min journeys, have now turned into 45 min ones now.
I am not looking forward to grocery shopping with a backpack and walking miles, but that is how I have to get it done.
I will not just live on ramen noodles alone. I use to have to, but all that sodium does nothing but hurt your body. That is why I took a Dietary Nutrition in college. So I could learn what poisons they have been poisoning us with.
It is sad, but they make sure when your poor, you eat nothing but junk that causes your body to create cancer cells and illness. Instead of trying to provide the poor with food that does not hurt the body its the other way around. I am use to seeing this evil though and all I can do is give whatever healthy food I have to the homeless.
I gave a homeless guy my last banana and I haven't had a banana sense lol. God I miss bananas! Its ok, I plan on getting some more today.
Instead of giving homeless money, cause I don't have any money to give. I give them whatever healthy food I have, because I know they need it more, then I do.
For me to eat a healthy diet it costs about $100 a week. I never have that kind of money anymore, so I cut it in half, and live on what I need to stay alive. I no longer eat junk food, or food with negative nutritive value now.
I know I need to eat more, but when you can't afford to, you can't. I enjoy being 100bs anyway. I can spin on dicks more and I don't get as hungry, as I do on a normal healthy diet. The less you eat the more your stomach is happy with just a little bit of food. What I do eat, is packed with good Nutrients.
God I miss dick right now. I haven't fucked a dick in three days now because I have been sick. It is hard to get un-sick when you don't have time to rest. I have to walk myself everywhere and simple tasks with a car, turns into day longer task when you have to walk. By the time I get back, I am tried and still sick again!
I don't have money for cabs and the buses are far and only go to Hollywood. As much as I like Hollywood, I am not in a hot enough mood to go there, right now. I feel like I'm the ugliest thing on the planet. I'm still in shock that I am able to work as a model. Even though I am not shooting scenes, I am learning how to enjoy webcamming.
I was hoping to get back into dancing, so I could make faster money and get me out of this brokenness, but sense I don't have a car now, that won't happen. Things happen for a reason and I just have to accept it and hope one day it will get better. I do miss dancing though, I love using the pole like a tree and climbing up it to only slide down to the ground. Spinning my body in every sexy curvaceous move I can think of.
I am still a horny slut at the end of the day, wishing I had a dick next to me!
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