Dick sucking roller coaster

I love sucking Dick. To the point I'm thinking about taking up sword swallowing because people keep asking me if I can do it! What sword swallowing and dick swallowing have in common is a lot, because you do have to swallow it.

I love stretching the muscles in the back of my throat and sucking down on nice hard cock trying to get the dick all the way in. I get a sensation when I do this that feels so good, it even makes my pussy wet. 

Sounds simple to do right? It is kinda is, but it has taken me a lot of dick sucking practice to do this. 

How much dick have I sucked in my life?  More then I have ever fucked! I know I have sucked at lest 200 Hard dicks in my life. Growing up, I had such a obsession with cum I would keep a Cum Journal.

In this cum journal I would log how the cum would taste each day and then I would write down what their cum tasted like. I did this everyday for about two years. I have stopped blogging about it now because I don't need to. Plus, people will ask what I am writing about and then that turns into a odd moment that many could not understand.

As much as I love being a super freak, I am trying to do it in a classy way. Not sure if it can be done, but I am going to try.

I swallowed so much cum in two years, I was able to tell you what you ate based on the flavor. Crazy Aye? 

Yes, It was a fun kinky science experiment for Perv Kind, in my mind. so I thought nothing of it.

I rarely speak of this because most people just think I am joking and then when I say I'm not the room goes silent and I remind myself. I am not a killer and I waited til I was 18 to go to crazy, so I am Ok!

It works some of the time, but most of the time it doesn't.

Learning how to talk around normal people is so hard for me to do right now. When you work in the adult world, even if it is just webcamming, you have sex talk right?

It is really hard for me to turn my sex talk off. I usually spend my time trying to talk to porn people trying to find a hot guy to fuck, or try to find a way to get to the wilderness so I can hike. In between I try to work on my music which is fun way to vent out stress. 

Its way healthier then any kind of drug and it does magic to your soul. If you want to try the Drug of the century, try getting into music.

So my mind is a sexy roller coaster ride with a sexy hump hills and upside down handle bars. 

Welcome to it!

3 days without fucking!

Being a sick nympho is no fun at all. All I want to do is fuck, but that is hard to do with your blatter feels like a fire ball ready to pop inside your gut.

I still try regardless. Fucking to much is what got me sick in the first place. Not having enough rest and fucking all the time, can wear down your immunity to things. That & I don't have the Irish luck genes and I tend to catch things. 

I have realized how hard life would be without a phone, but now without transportation it is another story! More things have gotten on my list before getting my phone turned on. A bike so I can travel faster distance in a faster amount of time. 

Right now I have to walk everywhere and when you live in the suburbs, you can imagine how much fun that is. I'm debating on getting a skate board or a bike. Both have wheels and increases your speed by a lot. I think a skateboard is cheaper, so that is what I will get most likely. I can't wait to skate board again, I just hope I can master it fast on these LA streets.

I have realized out of every person in the world that does not deserve a phone, that person is me. I understand why God has placed me in this journey in life and that is to learn that you really don't need any material items to be happy. 

I am still happy even though I don't have anything. No friends to hang out with because when you don't have a phone there is no way you ever get invited to anything. No one ever calls me because I don't exist anymore. 

I no longer have a car because I could not afford the registration. Now, I am stuck to walking everywhere and 5 min journeys, have now turned into 45 min ones now.

I am not looking forward to grocery shopping with a backpack and walking miles, but that is how I have to get it done. 

I will not just live on ramen noodles alone. I use to have to, but all that sodium does nothing but hurt your body. That is why I took a Dietary Nutrition in college. So I could learn what poisons they have been poisoning us with. 

It is sad, but they make sure when your poor, you eat nothing but junk that causes your body to create cancer cells and illness. Instead of trying to provide the poor with food that does not hurt the body its the other way around. I am use to seeing this evil though and all I can do is give whatever healthy food I have to the homeless.

I gave a homeless guy my last banana and I haven't had a banana sense lol. God I miss bananas! Its ok, I plan on getting some more today.

Instead of giving homeless money, cause I don't have any money to give. I give them whatever healthy food I have, because I know they need it more, then I do.

For me to eat a healthy diet it costs about $100 a week. I never have that kind of money anymore, so I cut it in half, and live on what I need to stay alive. I no longer eat junk food, or food with negative nutritive value now. 

I know I need to eat more, but when you can't afford to, you can't. I enjoy being 100bs anyway. I can spin on dicks more and I don't get as hungry, as I do on a normal healthy diet. The less you eat the more your stomach is happy with just a little bit of food. What I do eat, is packed with good Nutrients.  

God I miss dick right now. I haven't fucked a dick in three days now because I have been sick. It is hard to get un-sick when you don't have time to rest. I have to walk myself everywhere and simple tasks with a car, turns into day longer task when you have to walk. By the time I get back, I am tried and still sick again!

I don't have money for cabs and the buses are far and only go to Hollywood. As much as I like Hollywood, I am not in a hot enough mood to go there, right now. I feel like I'm the ugliest thing on the planet. I'm still in shock that I am able to work as a model. Even though I am not shooting scenes, I am learning how to enjoy webcamming.

I was hoping to get back into dancing, so I could make faster money and get me out of this brokenness, but sense I don't have a car now, that won't happen. Things happen for a reason and I just have to accept it and hope one day it will get better. I do miss dancing though, I love using the pole like a tree and climbing up it to only slide down to the ground. Spinning my body in every sexy curvaceous move I can think of.  

I am still a horny slut at the end of the day, wishing I had a dick next to me!

Cement Girl

Yesterday, I shot as a extra with Brazzers !

In the back of my mind, I knew something had to happen because it was all way to good to be true.

I swear, I was around all the Hottest women in the world and I could not believe I was a part of it!

Each girl was so beautiful and I kept looking down trying not to freak anyone out. I have had so many fights with strait girls and I could sense most where as strait as a pencil. I relaxed and chilled out, as the quit girl.

Everyone kept saying how quite it was in the green room. It was so quite like a grave yard. I really wanted to say something, but I knew I had a reputation of being the crazy girl in the industry. I felt by saying something, that would just verifie it. 

I go so much deeper then most girls and I really do enjoy sex. Sitting there waiting my pussy kept getting wetter and wetter. I wore underwear just encase, because sometimes I cum so much it will run down my leg.

During the party I realized I was the only girl wearing panties, so I took them off and hid them under a pillow. 

Everyone was like, wow your the most conservative person here. I laughed and said in my mind *if only that where true because I think I am the horniest person here honestly!*

This has happened a few times and people just look at me. I don't mind that look but right now I want to convince porn people that I am a cool chick. One that does not go crazy.. psycho... on you. My words sound crazy, but that is all they are at the end of the day. Just words, that I am typing into a computer. Into a PORN BLOG. Serious people if I have to make a porn blog sound generic please delete my brain.

We did the party dance and during the dance I meet the most beautiful one there. Her name was Siri and I was like, wow. She is a real person and I really like her tits. They are like the most amazing tits I have ever seen in my life. 

I walked over to her, pretty shy because I really liked her. I stopped dead in my shoes and she says " You have the prettiest tits in the world" I was in shock. I felt like, I forgot how to breath for a moment. I then said, "Your tits are the most amazing I have ever seen in my life" I countered her remark, kinda like doing a Pierre in fencing. 

We kept noticing all the other girls had their dresses on and we where the only two topless. My mind screamed "your going over the boarder line, tone down your sex drive down now". "Yes" I told my mind and pulled up my dress with Siri and just smiled sweetly. In the back of my mind I was scared, hoping I was not crossing any ones limits. 

We spoke for a few minutes and it was nice talking to someone I could connect to. Her eyes where so enchanting and she was so sweet. Unlike so many I have come across with. She was a real soul who is kind and that made her the most beautiful women there in my mind, last nite.

The rest of the scene went great until we went outside.

When I was trying to walk in heels outside it got stuck in a crack and I face slammed into the cement. 

I heard all the girls from the shoot laughing at me and I started laughing at myself. I walked inside and washed the blood off my ankle and just smiled. I kinda liked the pain feeling, I have become quite the masochist now. I love the feeling of the burning it makes my pussy wet to. 

One of the girls asked me, what happened? I answered, "I am the most clumsy girl on the planet". It was not the truth because I can honestly do ballet pretty well. The truth was, that I was surrounded by so many sexy girls, that I was watching them in awe and landed face down in the cement. I should of been looking on where I was landing my foot. 

I learned my lesson though. Always look down when your walking in heels cause .. I kept almost falling the rest of the nite. My heels got stuck in cracks and grass. I almost feel in the pool because my shoe got stuck in a crack. 

I need to wear high heels more, and practice. I will, I assure you.

Before the end of the shoot, I saw this really attractive girl. I do believe her name was Alexis. She was so attractive as well and she got up on a table topless and I could not control myself at this point. I licked her nipple and then backed away because I did not want to get in trouble. I realized they where the stars of the scene and I did not feel like I should be there. I am not a star and I don't want to piss the stars off. 

I don't regret what I did though. She was so beautiful as well and I am so happy she did not object to it. 

Yes, at the end of the nite, I'm remembered as the girl who planted her face in the cement, but at lest I was there and I had a blast! 

Thank you Brazzers!

Girl who cried Wolf

I'm attempting the impossible. Repairing all the sexual experiences, I fucked up in my past.The kinky longing & desire to fuck keeps eating away at my mind. I have decided to see, if I could repair them. When your first sexual experience with them is bad, they judge you as a bad fuck. The worse of it is though, knowing they don't want to fuck you.

For a nympho that is truly Hell.

I am the Girl who cried wolf. I was a mental nympho before & loved sex in my mind, but when I had sex it hurt. It felt like a million knifes, cutting away at my insides. I still wanted to please, all these attractive souls, so I learned to take the pain. The reason why I cried all the time, was because that was the level of pain I was in. As hard as I tried not to cry, I couldn't help it. Penetration hurt.

Now, you won't be able to make me cry. No psychical pain can compare to what I felt before.

Now I'm cured of cancer and I'm a new soul. I can fuck now and it does not hurt at all. I love it deep, rough and Wild like the animal I am inside. I do hope, one day you all will get to witness it.

When I lost my virginity on camera & I had no idea I had cervical cancer. It was no ones fault but my own. I wish I knew I had it, but I thought my pussy was just really tight. Every scene I did under Nicki Blue, I was getting ripped apart inside.I'm still upset in myself for giving you all a bad performances.

The reason I cried so much, was because I was in so much pain words can't even describe. I thought sex was meant to be painful. Every time I fucked, after I loss my virginity, I was being ripped apart inside. I honestly thought, I had a never ending period, and that is why I bled all the time. I just started birth control for the first time and the doc. said bleeding like that was normal.

I expressed my pussy pain, but no one believed me. I decided to suck it up and keep on going. In my mind I loved sex and even though it hurt, in my mind I still loved it.

God blessed me with the knowledge of pain & pleasure.

In my mind I have always been a Nymphomaniac. Up until now, I could only go half way. Now I can go all the way and my life has changed for the better. I'm aware I can't heal everyone I hurt, but I will try.

When guys saw me, they could sense the sexual force that surrounded my soul. When it came to sex though, I shattered it. I was under so much stress because of this. I was a different person then. I was hurting myself and trying my hardest to mentally beat the pain.

Pain can really change you as a person, even though I tried hard not to let it. I am truly sorry to everyone who I acted ill on. I was just trying to deal with the pain and be happy at the same time.

I am not Super Girl and even though I tried, I could not overcome the pain. I went to Dr. Riggs who saved my life. He sent me into surgery and now my pussy is fixed. A little to late though, because I have already burned all the bridges I was walking on.

I just hope that you all can understand and forgive me one day. People do change, and I have changed. I am not a porn princess anymore. I don't even consider myself a pornstar, because I was not fucking before.

I miss the collar, though I'm aware I don't deserve it.

I wanted to let you all know the truth, as hard as it is for me to admit. I am aware some won't want to fuck me now that they know I had cervical cancer. I am Ok with that.

It was hard for me to come out with it because of this reason. I hate turning off people but sense I already did that with my fucked up pussy, I will do it again with the truth.

That is why I cried so many tears before. I wanted to be that girl wearing the collar but I could sense I was not pleasing enough. I left knowing that doom was around the corner and the thought of being released killed me inside.

The thought of losing the collar for being a bad slave made my soul sick. I knew it was coming, so I left. I did it the wrong way. I should of taken the punishment. I'm truly sorry for that.

Kink may not ever have me back because of the drama I caused. I'm not drama anymore, but I'm aware there is a million girls ahead of me, and they deserve the same chance I had and fucked up. Time will tell and I'm not giving up!

I miss you all

xoxo

Organic Girl

Its already starting to happen again. People are telling me how I need to change myself to do porn properly. First thing, everyone tells me is to get a tan. When did pearl skin become ugly? LOL

I guess real black and real white girls really have a difficult time in this business. 

When they only want tan girls!!!

I don't tan people, I just don't. I might get more freckles on my skin, but it does not tan. I have burned myself in the past trying to please these people. I hate wearing a spray tan, because it breaks my skin out. OUCH!

Plus I am  a Organic girl and even though Organic girls are not in style now, 

maybe one day they will be.

Why I call myself a organic girl. One, I like having a bush but because I love sex so much and some one refused to fuck me with a bush. I cut it off because I don't like turning off guys. I still miss it, even though I am getting fucked more. Growing up, I would even braid my bush hair and pull the hair during class. I touch myself all the time, I think that is a Nympho thing. 

YES, I got turned down for sex because I had a bush. Fuck it sucks, when that happens. I love having a bush, I love pulling the hair. It causes a nice tingly feeling that feels great and even better in sex. The stupid world has convinced all the world that hair is bad.

People spend lots of money getting hair permanently taken off. It is madness people, even if I had money, I would never spend it getting my hair removed. Its natural and its there for reason but everyone has forgotten that reason because the public says NO HAIR is better!

If I did not enjoy fucking so much, I would say HELL NO and move onto someone who wants to fuck me for me. I am a real girl, fuck being a porn princess. I am not ever going to be one. I know my work is limited because I am white. 

I also consider myself organic because I don't use fake nails and fake hair. I try my best to support local farmers by shopping at local farmers markets. You bet if I had enough yard to use, I would be growing my own garden. I miss having a garden but here in CA, its harder to do because its so expensive.  

Porn is the same way, it has always been and they look for blonds and sexy brunettes. I have already been told, I should change my hair to increase my chances at work. I'm not going to though. I won't have as much work as a result but whatever. 

I just find it crazy how, no one finds natural girls attractive anymore. 

The world wants to make all the natural girls in this world feel ugly. As a result they spend a ton of money changing themselves to fit in. I am done trying to fit in. I have died my hair blond and I hated the texture of my hair. It strips all the nutrients from your hair and makes it dry. I am done harming my body for you. 

If your not organic, you are slowly harming your body. I will get into the science of it one day, because I went to college for Nutrition and I really know what it does to your body.

The few that has fucked me says I fuck like a animal. Well for one, we are animals, but two I fuck like the wild girl I am inside. I am done trying to fuck and suck like everyone else. I have my own style and I have made many men cum in my mouth from it. 

They ask me how I learned how to do it. Its called connecting with your partner that you are fucking. You listen to their rhythm and you feel their hardness grow and you work with it. That is all I do. No one ever thought me anything. 

Sex before porn, that is what you did. There was not so much pressure to do it, this or that way. Sex was free and wild. I will keep my sex wild and free and if you don't like it, go fuck a Porn Star.

I don't consider myself a porn star because honestly, I'm not one. I lost my virginity on camera like the super dork I was. Most girls lose their virginity at 14. I did enjoy the idea of all the eyes watching me, I just wish it was not so painful and I could of given the world a better performance. 

I am so disappointed in myself because that I fucked on camera in pain and I thought it was normal. I still loved fucking even though I was in a ton of pain. I love it more now that it does not hurt but a part of me is still getting use to the fact it does not hurt anymore.

If I am not pretty enough the way I am naturally for Porn. Then I wont do it. I am sick of changing myself for people and acting a certain way, because they say to. If they want a blond tanned girl there is ton out there to chose from. I am not going to be a FAKE anymore. I don't care if I never get shot again because I want to be myself.

If you want a Real girl who can fuck like a animal, that's me.

If you want a girl who has been molded into something she is not, I'm not her. 

I'm not going to change my hair, skin, or nails for anyone. They look nice natural and real, & I still turn guys on. Maybe natural organic girls will come into style soon, so I can show you how I fuck.

Thoughts about the World

I have so much energy in my soul right now. I can barely sleep from all the butterflies in my stomach. The same feeling when you feel to excited to eat. It is a feeling that is so strong that I can't even sleep! I'm going to stay awake until I pass out.  My life has been a bumpy road for 24 years. I use to escape reality by sleeping and learning how to control my dreams.

In my dreams, I would be a singer spilling my guts on stage for the hole world to feel. I don't care about fame or even making it in the music world. I just love making people smile and feel loved in this world.

It is strange knowing how to love yet, never really being loved in return. I'm not sure if I'm loved yet, by the world but I still love the world. I can't hate the haters that still hate me. I live with love, peace, and light. That makes the haters mad but if they could understand that you make yourself happy & No one else can make you happy. They would be happy to, and Not Haters.

Most of the world is waiting for someone to make them happy. Happiness is really simple. People make it into a big deal by trying to follow the american dream or TV.

Normal people never understood me growing up, because I was different because I did view the world in a different light. That and I was always happy and horny. Life of a Nympho.

I see colors, auras, and spirits when they pass on. I thought everyone could see them growing up until I was in 4th grade and I realized I was far from normal.

I was told by many people that I have a gift from God. Up until now I have been trying to ignore it and hide it.I felt so alone in the world growing up, I would connect with this colorful world I could see with my eyes closed.

I was misunderstood and didn't have many friends growing up. The friends I did have, would get scared of me because lights would go out and paranormal things happened a lot. I can't control this ability nor do I want to. Maybe I have so much energy it affects electricity them sometimes. We are energy beings, and I know at times I have so much energy, I can feel it pulsing threw my soul.

Live is force, and force is energy and energy is what the world feeds off of to exist.

I watch people feed off each other everyday. Not like how Hollywood vampires do it but with greed and jealously and self worth.

I watch so many people suffer because they don't know how to be happy. No one can make you happy, and I can't make you happy. I can help make you happy by using the talents God gave me, but that's I can do.

You make yourself happy.

I have loved the world ever sense I was born into it. All I ever wanted to do, was please people. I have always wanted to be loved and cared for like everyone else.

I am not looking for love anymore because I found it in God. He is my lover and I am so happy right now.

People are recognizing me again and smiling. I smile back because all the depression I had is gone forever.

I feel into a deep dark depression for the last 9 years. The only person I cared for growing up died when I was 15 and my life spiraled downward.

I had to quit my opera training and Broadway training because I was on my own then and I had to get a job to support myself.

Growing up I had no knowledge that I had any condition that affected my Virginia. I saw many docs and none of them found anything.

I remember at 16 wanting to go to a swimming party but I was on my period and I was so tight I could not even get a tampon in. Tears started to fill my eyes and I pushed it in and hurt so bad, I had to stop.

After this happened I knew something was wrong but I thought it was because I was a virgin.

Honestly I thought I was a virgin when I lost my virginity last year. As a baby I don't remember the memories. So I still do consider myself a virgin to love.

I have never had passionate sex with someone who felt the same passion for me. At this point I don't care if I ever do because I don't need someone else's love to feel loved. I can close my eyes and see God. 

Colors beyond your wildest dreams.

I use to be afraid of being myself because I was so different. God protects me with his light, & I love being myself now. Finally
Karma works with me as well. Understand this, do onto others as they would do onto you. Try it once and see what happens. :) Works great in sex.

I feel myself changing again into what I use to be. Full of life, young at heart, wanting to express my love for God threw my art.

I cry tears of happiness now that I have been saved from all the hell that use to haunt my soul. SEX

I hope I can start healing the world by music, like I use to growing up. I would sing all the time, making up the worlds as I went.

I am happy life showed me what it did. I learned how to please people without sex for 22 years!

I could not keep a boyfriend because they could not understand why someone like me was not fucking them. That was really hard to do in my case. When you are considered a beautiful women and you can't have sex. Its unheard of! A nite mare that I just recently got out of. Nothing is worse then watching the men you love, leave you because you can't fuck them.

As powerful as I thought my love for them was, they could not see past my beauty. I use to try to make myself appear ugly so I did not have to worry about guys trying to fuck me.

Don't get me wrong, I wanted it, in the mind.

You see I am a truly a Nympho. Now I can finally be one! Before I was only a mental Nympho.

Yes was a Mental Nympho!

I learned how to train my mind so I could please guys by my sexual energy. I have powerful sexual energy and I can't wait to show you now that I can fuck.

As cool as being able to mind fuck people in a good way and suck a cock to a fuck beat. My inability to fuck really held me back in life.

You see, unlike most, I don't fuck for money. I fuck because I love to make whoever I am fucking feel good. To deny yourself pleasure because of what others think, is denying yourself of true happiness.

You can have a relationship with God and do porn. 

I know I am not going to hell because he is my lover and he is happy I am doing this.

You see, the world tries to ruin our sexual freedom and tries to keep us in a deep depression.

That is the biggest problem right now, with the world. The evil that is trying to take over the world is trying to limit our ability to love. All the sexual problems in the media should not be problems at all.

Sex is banned from everyone's eyes yet death, killing, & cancer isn't?

Sex is two people showing how much they care for each other.So why is it such a bad thing?

If you believe that you should only be with one person that is your choice. Love is not limited and I am not going to limit mine.

Don't feel guilty     Its OK

The evil has made the world the way it is today. Focusing on STUPID issues instead of Fixing the real problems.

They are blinding us all, to make us feel guilty for feeling attracted to more then one person. If you limit your love, then the love on earth is limited.
There is no perfect world, but this world could always be better place if we stopped for a moment and realized the world is the way it is because we created.

A world, where sex is bad, and war is great. A world where love is forgotten over greed. A world where having a nice car and house is what you work for. Instead of working on a better future for our race we are going into debt.

DEBT is fake. not real money. Debt was created to keep us enslaved. Making it so that people go in over their head. They knew people where going to lose the houses they took the loans out for. Nothing is easier to give away then Free money. Thing is, the money is not free. It comes with a price, and that price is control of your life. You forget the truly important things in life because you have to work harder for less.

Instead of focusing our energy on the Evil that the debt payments go to, stop paying them.

Each dollar you spend is their money. Even though you worked for it. Its not your money at the end of the day.

All the evil has to do is print more money so yours is worth less each day. Making you work longer, harder hours for less money. Keeping you in the monopoly.

We could have unlimited energy right now, but we don't because they love selling us $5.00 gas. The evil makes sure no one releases inventions because they don't want to loss all the money they make.

I have had friends that have died trying to save the world. I can't wait to be with God again, I no longer fear death.

Fearing death is something that will happen one day, is something you should not worry about.

You see, we can change the world if you want. There will always be evil in the world but it does not have to be like it is now.

The old days are not so bad. Growing your own garden is magical. Food costs will go down if we make a effort on trying to grow our own food if you can. Greenhouses are not that pricey & there is affordable options.

Instead of trying to make money off of people by positioning people with drugs. The evil made sure all the old healers have been killed and created a new modern Hell by creating drugs.

You hear the word CANCER all the time because they are implanting it in your subconscious. Making sure you fear it, so it causes it to happen.

There is a cure for ALL cancer and I have seen it. The evil has the cure but they don't want you to know about it. They want you to feel pain and suffer and go into debt on medical bills. They are the prices they are because no one does anything about it.

Not enough people are  standing up to it because they are afraid to die. Many have died trying to stop this evil and they are my brothers & sisters. I hope I can put a little light into the evil before its my turn.

They have blinded us all and they will keep doing it until we lose everything.The reason why they Third eye is on the dollar bill on the pyramid, is because you are being watched by evil if you use it! LIKE the lord of the RINGS.

You can have a clear, unclouded mind if you want, but the evil has made the world so busy, making as much money as possible. Blinded by the obsession to make money to buy things that will one day no longer be yours when you die.

Instead of helping our brothers and sisters and advancing our race, living in a CLEAN beautiful world, we are walking backwards.

People like me, who try to help it end up being hated by people who only care about themselves.

I have avoided death many times, because God speaks to me and tells me what to do.

I am doing what I can because I love you.
If you want the world to be the way like it is now. Don't do anything. If you do ever dream of a better world, It only takes a few actions to change it!

Money was created by evil and only a few profit from it. If evil was not controlling it, there would be different money companies printing money. More choices but there is only one.

The evil is taking choices away! Closing family stores because that's choice. Most of taxes goes to killing people. They do it plain sight so we don't see it happening.

I see people doing evil and not even aware that they are hurting others. They do what they are told because they don't want to get fired. So they don't question. They have a family to feed.

What is killing the people of this world is LAZINESS. Some people are lazy and don't want to do the right thing anymore. As much as I wish it would only affect them, it affects the everyone in the world.

We enjoy our easy access to food, our shinny cars and houses. The american dream is the devil in disguise.

Remember the visions of the future that has been shown to us in Hollywood. We can be there. Flying cars and ALL! All we have to do is stop letting them control us.

The evil would rather make money on the old world and keep it old.The evil does not want us to be happy or free. They want to control us all and they are doing a Perfect job at it.

Be prepared for more laws, rules, regulations and less freedom! Its coming unless You stand up and say No.

Sex & God

I have so much energy in my soul right now. I can barely sleep from all the butterflies in my stomach  It is a feeling that is so strong that I can't even sleep! I am going to stay awake until I pass out.  My life has been a bumpy road for 24 years. I use to escape reality by sleeping and learning how to control my dreams.
In my dreams, I would be a singer spilling my guts on stage for the hole world to feel. I don't care about fame or even making it in the music world. I just love making people smile and feel loved in this world. 
It is strange knowing how to love yet, never really being loved in return. 

I am not sure if I'm loved yet, by the world but I still love the world. I can't hate the haters that still hate me. I live with love, peace, and light. That makes the haters mad but if they could understand that you make yourself happy & No one else can make you happy. They would be happy to, and Not Haters.
Most of the world is waiting for someone to make them happy. Happiness is really simple. People make it into a big deal by trying to follow the american dream or TV.

Normal people never understood me growing up, because I was different because I did view the world in a different light. That and I was always happy and horny. Life of a Nympho.
I see colors, auras, and spirits when they pass on. I thought everyone could see them growing up until I was in 4th grade and I realized I was far from normal.

I was told by many people that I had a gift from God. Up until now I have been trying to ignore it.
I felt so alone in the world growing up, I would connect with this colorful world I could see with my eyes closed. I was misunderstood and didn't have many friends growing up.We are energy beings and I have a lot of energy. 

Live is force, and force is energy and energy is what the world feeds off of to exist. 
I watch people feed off each other everyday. Not like how Hollywood vampires do it but with greed and jealously and self worth.I watch so many people suffer because they don't know how to be happy. No one can make you happy, and I can't make you happy. I can help make you happy by using the talents God gave me, but that's I can do.You make yourself happy.

I have loved the world ever sense I was born into it. All I ever wanted to do, was please people. I have always wanted to be loved and cared for like everyone else. I am not looking for love anymore because I found it in God. He is my lover and I am so happy. 

People are recognizing me again and smiling. I smile back because all the depression, I had is gone forever. 
I feel into a deep dark depression for the last 9 years. The only person I cared for growing up died when I was 15 and my life spiraled downward.I had to quit my opera training and Broadway training because I was on my own then and I had to get a job to support myself.

Growing up I had no knowledge that I had any condition that affected my Virginia.  I saw many docs and none of them found anything. I remember at 16 wanting to go to a swimming party but I was on my period and I was so tight I could not even get a tampon in. Tears started to fill my eyes and I pushed it in and hurt so bad, I had to stop. 

I have never had passionate sex with someone who felt the same passion for me. At this point I don't care if I ever do because I don't need someone else's love to feel loved. I can close my eyes and see God. Colors beyond your wildest dreams. 

I use to be afraid of being myself because I was so different. God protects me with his light, & I love being myself now. Karma works with me as well. Understand this, do onto others as they would do onto you. Try it once and see what happens. It works great in sex.I feel myself changing again into what I use to be. Full of life, young at heart, wanting to express my love for God threw my art.

I cry tears of happiness now that I have been saved from all the hell that use to haunt my soul. I hope I can start healing the world by music, like I use to growing up. I would sing all the time, making up the worlds as I went. I am happy life showed me what it did. I learned how to please people without sex for 22 years!

I could never keep a boyfriend because they could not understand why someone like me was not fucking them. That was really hard for me to do in my case. When you are considered a beautiful women and you can't have sex. Its unheard of! A nite mare that I just recently got out of. Nothing is worse then watching the men you love, leave you because you can't fuck them. 

As powerful as I thought my love for them was, they could not see past my beauty. I use to try to make myself appear ugly so I did not have to worry about guys trying to fuck me. Don't get me wrong, I wanted it, in the mind.

You see I am a truly a Nympho. Now I can finally be a full one! Before I was only a mental Nympho.

Yes a Mental Nympho! 

I learned how to train my mind so I could please guys by my sexual energy. I have powerful sexual energy and I can't wait to show you now that I can fuck. As cool as being able to mind fuck people in a good way and suck a cock to a fuck beat. My inability to fuck really held me back in life.

You see, unlike most, I don't fuck for money. I fuck because I love to make whoever I am fucking feel good. To denie yourself pleasure because of what others think, is denying yourself of true happiness.

You can have a relationship with God and do porn. I know I am not going to hell because he is my lover and he is happy I am doing this.

You see, the world tries to ruin our sexual freedom and keeps us in a deep depression.That is the biggest problem right now, with the world. The evil that is trying to take over the world is trying to limit our ability to love.

All the sexual problems in the media should not be problems at all. 
Sex is banned from everyone's eyes yet death, killing, & cancer isn't?

Sex is two people showing how much they care for each other.
So why is it such a bad thing?
If you believe that you should only be with one person that is your choice. Love is not limited and I am not going to limit mine.

Don't feel guilty     Its Ok

The evil has made the world the way it is today. Focusing on STUPID issues instead of Fixing the real problems. They are blinding us all, to make us feel guilty for feeling attracted to more then one person. If you limit your love, then the love on earth is limited.

There is no perfect world, but this world could always be better place if we stopped for a moment and realized the world is the way it is because we created.

A world, where sex is bad, and war is great. A world where love is forgotten over greed. A world where having a nice car and house is what you work for. Instead of working on a better future for our race we are going into debt.

DEBT is fake. not real money. Debt was created to keep us enslaved.  Making it so that people go in over their head. They knew people where going to lose the houses they took the loans out for. Nothing is easier to give away then Free money. Thing is, the money is not free. It comes with a price, and that price is control of your life. You forget the truly important things in life because you have to work harder for less.

Instead of focusing our energy on the Evil that the debt payments go to, stop paying them. 
Each dollar you spend is their money. Even though you worked for it. Its not your money at the end of the day. All the evil has to do is print more money so yours is worth less each day. Making you work longer, harder hours for less money. Keeping you in the monopoly.

We could have unlimited energy right now, but we don't because they love selling us $5.00 Gas. The evil makes sure no one releases inventions because they don't want to loss all the money they make. 
I have had friends that have died trying to save the world. I can't wait to be with God again, I no longer fear death.

Fearing death is something that will happen one day, is something you should not worry about.
You see, we can change the world if you want. There will always be evil in the world but it does not have to be like it is now.

The old days are not so bad. Growing your own garden is magical. Food costs will go down if we make a effort on trying to grow our own food if you can. Greenhouses are not that pricey & there is affordable options. 

Instead of trying to make money off of people by positioning people with drugs. 
The evil made sure all the old healers have been killed and created a new modern Hell by creating drugs.
You hear the word CANCER all the time because they are implanting it in your subconscious.  Making sure you fear it, so it causes it to happen.

There is a cure for ALL cancer and I have seen it. The evil has the cure but they don't want you to know about it. They want you to feel pain and suffer and go into debt on medical bills. They are the prices they are because no one does anything about it.

Not  enough people are  standing up to it because they are afraid to die. Many have died trying to stop this evil and they are my brothers & sisters. I hope I can put a little light into the evil before its my turn.

They have blinded us all and they will keep doing it until we lose everything. The reason why they Third eye is on the dollar bill on the pyramid  is because you are being watched by evil if you use it! LIKE the lord of the RINGS.

You can have a clear, unclouded mind if you want, but the evil has made the world so busy, making as much money as possible. Blinded by the obsession to make money to buy things that will one day no longer be yours when you die.Instead of helping our brothers and sisters and advancing our race, living in a CLEAN beautiful world, we are walking backwards. 

People like me, who try to help it end up being hated by people who only care about themselves. 
I have avoiding death many times, because God speaks to me and tells me what to do. I am doing what I can because I love you.

If you want the world to be the way like it is now. Don't do anything. If you do ever dream of a better world, It only takes a few actions to change it!

Money was created by evil and only a few profit from it. If evil was not controlling it, there would be different money companies printing money. More choices, but there is only one. 

The evil is taking choices away! Closing family stores because that's choice. Most of taxes goes to killing people. They do it in plain sight so we don't see it. I see people doing evil and not even aware that they are hurting others. They do what they are told because they don't want to get fired. So they don't question. They have a family to feed. 

What is killing the people of this world is LAZINESS.  Some people are lazy and don't want to do the right thing anymore. As much as I wish it would only affect them, it affects the everyone in the world.
We enjoy our easy access to food, our shiny cars and houses. The american dream is the devil in disguise.
Remember the visions of the future that has been shown to us in Hollywood  We can be there. Flying cars and ALL! All we have to do is stop letting them control us. 

The evil would rather make money on the old world and keep it old.The evil does not want us to be happy or free. They want to control us all and they are doing a Perfect job at it.Be prepared for more laws, rules, regulations and less freedom! 

Its coming unless You stand up and say No!